By Jessica Dye
| NEW YORK
NEW YORK General Motors was hit on Friday with what appeared to be the first lawsuit related to the recall of 1.6 million cars, as customers claimed their vehicles lost value because of ignition problems blamed for a series of fatal crashes.
When you are old, please do not try to get a 'real' job. There's nothing out there for you except embarrassment and maybe pity. American companies don't want you working for them. They won't come right out and say it...but you will get the idea when the application says
What year did you graduate from high school?:
then there is a list and you are supposed to check off your year of graduation...You look down the list....
---nope go back a little more----
------nope, go further
------nope...go further down
...so you keep laddering the list until finally it terminates at 1975.
I guess that's a pretty good clue they don't want anybody who graduated before 1975.
Well, I'm not going to sit around and gripe about this discrimination against my fellow senior citizens!
I've decided I'm going to buy a huge company and I'm only going to hire old people. You'll have to be at least 60 to come work for me. If you're over 80..there will be an immediate vice presidency for you!!!!!
Now when I buy this company there probably will be some young people working there so I'll have to get rid of them. I can't just fire them - that would be age discrimination .
I'm going to make them feel so unwelcome that they will quit.
The first thing I'm going to do is eliminate all coffee breaks....no more coffee breaks. Instead, we'll take Naps!
At 10 o'clock every morning and again at 3:00 in the afternoon, I'll announce over the P.A. system..............................
"Okay everybody...it's nap time. Time to lay down and relax and catch a few winks. I'll call you in 30 minutes.."
It will be a company rule that anybody caught drinking coffee during nap time, will be fired.
That should get rid of a lot of the whippersnappers...probably fifty per cent. .But for the stubborn ones who survive the nap rule, I'll swing into Plan B.
Under plan B, I'll modify all the bathrooms by removing any items like Sanitary napkin or condom dispensers......and I will replace them with special dispensers of "Depends". ................and I think I can depend on "Depends" to get rid of another forty percent of the Young people.
As you have probably already figured out...that still leaves me with a tough ten per cent of young fogies that I will have to get rid of.
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* Majority favor assigning cases to Los Angeles court
* Most attorneys want one judge to preside over suits
* Toyota agrees California central district is best venue
By Steve Gorman
SAN DIEGO, March 25 Lawyers suing Toyota across
the United States over cars that have raced out of control
lobbied a special judicial panel on Thursday to merge the
scores of cases and assign them to one or two courthouses for
Consolidating cases is the first major step for the U.S.
legal system in confronting a torrent of personal injury
claims, consumer-fraud class actions and other civil litigation
You've come to the right place.
As a lawyer, I really can't impress this enough: if you're involved in any sort of investigation, it may be best to suspend any sort of social media account. This includes your Facebook.
At the very least, you will want to make it COMPLETELY private.
An article in a recent edition of Virginia Lawyer's Weekly cited some pretty disturbing examples from attorneys Courtney Van Winkle and Tom Messersmith, both of Richmond, Virginia.
"One picture, one comment, can be taken out of context," Van Winkle says. This does serious damage to a case. One defendant, who was drinking when an accident occurred, had a photo posted on his Facebook page of him holding up a beer can